When I Want to Speak… But God Is Teaching Me to Listen

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how easy it is for me to speak my mind—especially in moments when I probably need to listen more.

And before you think this is a confession of guilt or shame, let me say this first: This isn’t about being “too much.”It’s about learning timing, wisdom, and grace.

I have a fast mind and a full heart. When something matters, my thoughts line up like kids ready to jump off the diving board—Pick me! Pick me! And honestly? Most of the time, my intentions are good. I want to help. I want to encourage. I want to fix, clarify, protect, or offer wisdom.

But God has been gently reminding me that good intentions still need discernment.

“So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”James 1:19

Sometimes I Process Out Loud

Some people think quietly. Others—hi, hello, it’s me—think by talking. When emotions are involved, silence can feel uncomfortable, almost unproductive. But listening requires me to slow my internal commentary and trust that I won’t lose my voice if I don’t use it immediately.

“He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.”Proverbs 18:13

Ouch… but also helpful.

Sometimes I’m Afraid of Being Misunderstood

If I don’t explain myself right away, will I lose my chance? Will my heart be misread? That urgency to speak often comes from past moments when I was misunderstood. But God keeps showing me that listening first doesn’t silence my voice—it actually protects it.

Sometimes I Want to Fix What Isn’t Mine to Fix

This one hits close to home. When someone I love is hurting, my instinct is to jump in with solutions. But not every moment calls for advice.

“Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”Proverbs 20:5

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is sit quietly and let someone draw their own words to the surface.

Silence Isn’t Weakness—It’s Wisdom

I’ve learned that silence doesn’t mean agreement. It doesn’t mean I don’t care. And it definitely doesn’t mean I have nothing to say.

“A time to keep silence, and a time to speak.”Ecclesiastes 3:7

Listening is not passive. It’s intentional. It’s strong. And it often says more than words ever could.

Timing Matters

God isn’t just concerned with what we say—He cares deeply about when we say it.

“A word spoken in due season, how good it is!”Proverbs 15:23

Not every thought needs a microphone. Some need a moment. Some need prayer. Some need love to go first.

A Prayer I’m Learning to Pray

When I feel the urge to jump in, explain, or take over the conversation, this simple prayer has become my pause button:

“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.”Psalm 141:3

Not to quiet my voice—but to guide it.

Here’s What I’m Learning

God gave me a voice on purpose. He also gave me ears on purpose.

Learning when to speak and when to listen isn’t about shrinking back—it’s about growing wiser. It’s choosing presence over pressure. Discernment over impulse. Love over needing the last word.

If you catch yourself mid-sentence, take heart.

It’s simply a reminder that He’s still working, not finished with us yet, and His grace is never in short supply.